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No Booby Cat!

So, what do you think? Should there be Booby Cat? Or, should there not be Booby Cat? Well, apparently, it seems as though at least one group of Israeli ultra-orthodox Jews inhabiting an area of Jerusalem know as “the hundred gates” district, (or, Mea Shearim, in Hebrew) thinks there most assuredly should not be. Their opinion seems more than clear: No Booby Cat!

As best as our sources have been able to determine, Booby Cat was born in the remote recesses of London in the summer of 2008. Booby Cat’s parents operated a small restaurant (Yes, cats can sometimes operate restaurants) in the back alley of a run-down pickle-shop and hat-pin factory on London’s upper east side. As a child, Booby Cat learned to play the piano that his parents had purchased for the restaurant (this is one remarkable cat, don’t forget!) and would spend many of his nights entertaining diners.

A few short years later, Booby Cat would record and release his first album “Don’t Say No to Booby Cat, Bitches!” which would rocket him to international fame, critical acclaim, put him ahead of the game, and make him a household name.

But, all of that, my dear brothers and sisters, appears to not be good enough for at least one small group of Haredi Jewish men. With loathsome vigor they repeatedly scream out “No Booby Cat!” in response to rumors that Booby Cat is planning a summer tour of the middle east which is scheduled to include at least one date right smack dab in the middle of the Mea Shearim neighborhood.

According to sources, a local businessman in the area by the name of מאהב חתול מזוקן, and who does not share the views of his Haredi neighbors, had offered his place of business as a venue for the planned Booby Cat extravaganza. However, due to pressure from the community, this reporter has learned that he has now retracted his offer. In place of the fantabulous Booby Cat rock and roll show, מאהב חתול מזוקן will now be hosting an Armenian Lasagna eating contest on the date that Booby Cat was previously scheduled to perform. It is not clear, at the time of this writing, whether the contest is a Lasagna eating contest in which only Armenians participate, a contest wherein a type of Lasagna known as “Armenian Lasagna” is eaten, or if there is a specific style of lasagna eating contest known as an “Armenian” style lasagna eating contest — which, of course, differs from other styles of lasagna eating contests associated with other nations. We’ll try to keep you informed as we learn more and details progress.

Not withstanding and none the less, all of this, as it appears dear readers, does not bode well for Booby Cat’s popularity. Could we really be seeing the end of Booby Cat? The answer to that question would seem to be a resounding “NO!” And, I’ll tell you why: You see, if I pick up this empty can of cola that is sitting on my desk in front of me, drop an ice-cube in it, and swirl it around a good… oh… seven or eight times… upon hearing the noise, my small dog will quickly come running to my side. I don’t know why she responds to that. I’ve never figured it out. But, she does. And so, there you have it! This is most certainly not the end of Booby Cat! If it’s still not clear to you why this isn’t the end of Booby Cat, please send me a self addressed stamped envelope. (I’m in need of self addressed stamped envelopes – don’t ask me why. It has to do with my work in the intelligence community – hush-hush type stuff)

So. What do you think? Booby Cat? Or, no Booby Cat? Let us know what you think. Kindly leave your thoughts in the comment box below. The best comment (as chosen by upper-management here at ReallyWeirdThings.Com) will win a free five minute prayer, to be performed by a staff member of our choosing, to the Gods of thrift-shop spandex, begging for your eternal salvation, all around good fortune, and top-shelf style luck in locating exciting bargains.

But before doing that, please fully inform yourself as to the entire Booby Cat saga. Watch the video posted above, and check out Morgan Spurlock’s film “Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden.”

THEN comment. Got it? Good!

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