Yes, it really is true: For an evening of true excitement, you really don’t have to fly to Paris or Las Vegas! I shit you not, friends! Exotic night life really is on your own doorstep… or, at least, that’s what Marie and Eli would have you believe. Or, at least, that’s what Marie and Eli would have had you believe way back in 1978!
What ever happened to Marie and Eli of La Cote de Boeuf fame? What is that wild and crazy couple doing now? How are Eli’s cheeks holding up? These are just some of the questions I have.
I’ve never met these people. I know nothing about them– other than they appear to be the proprietors– or, at least, the former proprietors– of a restaurant called La Cote de Boeuf. Or, at least, a former restaurant called La Cote de Boeuf. And, a night-club, or former night club, called Club Le Marquis. But, they look like a personable and happy couple– ready to make your evening of dining and, perhaps, an after-dinner gawk at some tantalizing, nippley exposedness, a pleasurable and relaxing time.
Eli, especially, seems like a pleasant sort of fellow. Check out the cheeks on that man! You don’t get a face like that without regularly working out your smiling muscles, let me tell you! But, Marie appears to be a more than personable and happy woman herself. I suppose she would have to be, though, wouldn’t she? Being married to Eli, and all. At least, I think they’re married– or were.
It appears that “The La Cote de Boeuf Steak House” (which, Google Translate assures me that, when written like that, translates into English as “The The Side of Beef Steak House”) and that “the Club Le Marquis” (That phrase translating into “The Marquis Club” …hmm, that one works) once existed on Greber Blvd, in Gatineau, Quebec. Alas, this magical eatery and associated upscale peeler-joint seems to no longer exist. In its place, as of the time of this writing, stands what looks to be at least a somewhat decent motel (on the seedy and/or dismal road-side motel scale), by the name of Motel Montcalm. (which translates into “Motel Montcalm.”)
I wonder what happened to Marie and Eli’s quaint little establishment. Did business suffer a down-turn and they were forced to close their doors? How long have they been out of business? What did they turn to after their closing as a means of supporting themselves? These are all mysteries lost in time, I suppose. But, one day, I just might be able to get my hands on a time machine. And, when I do, these, I can promise you, will be some of the first riddles of history that I will use that machine to solve.
And, what of that slightly overweight and exceptionally Persian looking exotic dancer? What is she doing now? And, more importantly to some, I’m assuming, how many babies has she managed to throw in all of the long, lost, intervening years? Although, I don’t really know why that would be important to anyone — but, I’m assuming it might be. Whatever the case, please don’t petition me to use my time machine to answer that question for you. Your request will not be considered. I have too much work to do already. Well… if I have some spare time left over, then maybe. But, don’t get your hopes up.
And, what of that small railing that appears in front of her? What is that separating her from, or protecting her from? It seems rather pointless. Doesn’t it? Ah well– I suppose one shouldn’t expend too much effort in trying to figure out the reasonings for such doings and goings on that take place in the fantastical and lost realm of La Cote de Boeuf Steak House.
But, once again back to the dancer in the exotic, red, Vegas-showgirl-esque get-up — What is she wearing that is pushing her boobs in like that? Man! That looks uncomfortable… but, I don’t have boobs, so I don’t really know for sure whether it is or not. I know if any article of clothing I was wearing was exerting such apparent force on any part of my body, I wouldn’t at all be comfortable. But, girls are weird, so, who knows?
And, one more thing: Check out that funky typeface they used in that ad! That font was everywhere in the 1970s. It’s actually a font called “Lazy Bones”, and designers used the shit out of it back in the 70’s. Its popularity has since waned significantly, however. I assume (wrongly, most likely) that the state of its falling into evermore disuse throughout the design world was somehow most probably linked with the disappearance of the magical kingdom of La Cote de Boeuf / Club Le Marquis. Well, how else would you explain it?
Oh well… (sigh)… after spending a good deal of time this afternoon looking over Marie and Eli’s advertisement from that lost time that historians commonly refer to as “1978”, and wistfully pining for the forgotten, magical place of wonders that was La Cote de Boeuf, I now find myself sure of just a few simple things:
I’m really hungry and find myself longing for a delicious business men’s luncheon with included salad bar, served in a congenial atmosphere and with warm hospitality. And, after eating to my contentment, I’d just love to take in a tantalizing all-nude review. Alas, I know of no such place where my wants may find sate. La Cote de Boeuf and Club le Marquis are no longer just five minutes from the MacDonald Cartier Bridge. They’re no longer just five minutes from anywhere. And, by all appearances, Marie and Eli have faded into the fog of time — lost to even the most diligent, skilled and resourceful of seekers. Where are you Marie and Eli? Where are you? My heart cries out for an evening spent enjoying good food in fine establishemt — but such longings, it seems, will not be satisfied. Not now — not ever. Marie and Eli have vanished — their fantastical and wondrous realm of La Cote de Boeuf lost forever.
All we are — all that we do — is dust.
La Cote de Boeuf UPDATE:
After an exhaustive search, I have managed to find but one other reference to Marie and Eli’s magical La Cote de Boeuf Steak House that’s still extant within this world – A short newspaper mention in “The Sorel Pilot.” Edition of March 8th, 1978: