Ottawa – A City of Mysteries and Perplexitude

Canadian Parliament Buildings C. 1901
The Parliament Buildings in Ottawa, Canada. C. 1901

Have you ever been to Ottawa, Ontario, Canada? Well, if you haven’t, let me tell you a little something about that city. Now, this isn’t very well known — even among the residents of that capital town — but, the city of Ottawa contains many bizarre secrets. I lived in Ottawa from 1984 to 1997. And, being the weird and wacky motor-scooterin’, mama-jamma that I am, I spent most of my years there searching the deep recesses of that bizarre metropolitan conurbation. The many puzzlements, and, as the Dutch say, geheimnissen, (it’s actually true, they really do say that) was a true and plentiful source for a downright absurd level of utter bafflement and perplexity.

So, just what were some of these bizarreties and bafflements that I managed to discover, and come to ponder upon? Well, would you believe that Ottawa is home to a mysterious underground ghost train? I shit you not, dear reader! The terrible locomotive sits idle within the underground, ancient sewers that run deep underneath an area of town known as the LeBreton Flats.

It seems that sometime around the late 1980s — most probably 1988 — a city worker who was investigating a broken water main in an area of the LeBreton Flats known as “spaghetti junction”, happened upon, quite by chance, an old and long since entirely disused underground tunnel, existing no less than a full thirty feet below the surface of our terrestrial sphere. The odd thing was, however, that while exploring this subterranean channel, the worker discovered the rusted hulk of some aged locomotive — a mystery train! (The likes of which I’m sure you must have previously read about in comic books, or some other such nonsensical media)

Nobody is quite certain where exactly this dark and sinister locomotive came from, who it may have once belonged to, or why it was occupying a space in an abandoned tunnel approximately ten meters below the Earth. But, it has been surmised that it may have been part of an underground shipping railroad utilized by a local brewery up until, possibly, the 1960s. But, going back as far as the late nineteenth century. Oooooh, spooky shit! Huh?

Unfortunately, the discovering worker was not following work rules when he undertook his expedition into the damp recesses of Ottawa’s forgotten and buried underneaths. As such, he hurriedly exited the deep, deep mysteriously low-down low-downs when other workers were heard to be arriving above. He told no one of his discovery at the time. The broken water main was repaired, and the entrance to the tunnel was filled with concrete and stone. Today, there is no access to the mystery spot without engaging in a serious amount of heavy and  laborious digging. But, the hidden underground mystery train still waits in the darkness — Its secrets safely kept… for now.

Turning from trains to other, more non-Earthly, forms of transportation; do you know about the UFO crash that happened in Ottawa? No, I’m not talking about the famous Carp UFO landing case of 1989 that everybody knows about and which turned out to be a hoax. I’m talking about another case that practically nobody seems to know about.

I’m talking about a real, genuine, honest to goodness flying saucer of extra-terrestrial origin that happened to crash in the woods in an area of the Ottawa valley known as the Marlborough forest. It crashed sometime in the very early 1980s, at a time when the location remained exceedingly remote. Today, the area is still somewhat remote, but not exceedingly so. The interesting thing is that in this particular case of kooky UFO saucery, the wreckage of the craft is still there! It lies in an area surrounded by almost impenetrable marsh land. But, the shiny, alloy hull of the alien space craft can actually be seen on satellite images that are readily and freely available to the public via on-line means. Don’t believe me? Take a look for yourself.

The bright flare you are seeing in that image is the result of the massive glare of the sun reflecting off the ultra-shiny, uber-reflective surface of the alien craft. Or… maybe it’s not. Who knows? Not me. That’s for sure. But Ottawa is no stranger to bizarre UFO activity. Just ask the security guard who recounted this strange tale that occurred just this past October. Of course, there was also the case of a UFO crashing into the Ottawa river in 2009. Not surprising in the least, given the dense and storied UFO history surrounding that stretch of the Ottawa River.

What other mysteries lurk in Ottawa and its past? Well, there was a rumor I recall of an early morning black magic ritual taking place in Major’s Hill Park in the early ’90s that saw the summoning of some rather Cthulu-esque creatures. Ottawa has its own Amittyville type of house on River Road – just switch out the family murders for accidental worker’s deaths during the construction of the Rideau Canal. There has been all sorts of murmurs and goings-on regarding long-forgotten and boarded up tunnels under Parliament Hill — closed-up forever due to some unspeakable, and best left forgotten, events. There are buried graveyards hidden under the feet of citizens who romp and rollick just a few feet o’er top the corpses. A sinister, abandoned, sealed-up underground facility beneath Richelieu Park , the secret purpose of which, and why it was sealed, remains a mystery.

So, what other weird things go on in Ottawa? Not much. Now that I think about it, it’s kind of a boring town. Boring, perhaps… but, strange and sinister nonetheless.

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