Snails is People Too! – WhEn PEts ATtacK

An animatronic Hitler head (or, is it a puppet?) sings and cavorts to the song  “Snails IS People Too” by WhEn PEts ATtacK!

And, speaking of ‘WhEn PEts ATtacK’ (not sure of the rational behind the capitalization there) did you know that a man going by the name of Mark Vogel was found dead in his home back in 2004 in Germany, after being there — rotting — for an estimated seven to fourteen days, and having been found almost entirely encased in a giant spider-web and buried beneath a writhing mound of snakes and reptiles? He had kept, as pets, hundreds of spiders, snakes, lizards and frogs. It is believed that a pet black-widow spider that was in his possession had bitten him and caused the fatality. Creepy, huh? Or, it might all be bullshit, entirely fabricated by The Sun tabloid — which seems to be the sole original source for the story. Who knows? Not I.

But, that’s not the only case of pets attacking their owners! Oh no! Not by a long shot — happens all the time. Kelly Ann Walz, of Allentown, Pennsylvania was killed not by her pet Lion, nor by her pet Bengal tiger! Oh no! Kelly was torn to pieces by her pet black bear while she was doing it the service of cleaning out its cage.

Even the normally peaceful and serene camel can be murderous assholes. Just ask Pam Weaver who was killed by her pet camel that she had received as a gift on her 60th birthday. Animal experts examining the scene determined that the killing had taken place because the camel was trying to have sex with her. And, of course, it doesn’t take an animal expert to know that if a camel tries to fuck a human, the human’s likely to get fucked in more ways than one. Camels do love to hump, though.

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