Really Weird Shopping – March 30th, 2013

GIANT HAND CHAIR

Hand Chair

Park your rear in one of these weirdo-sitting structures. It’s a big hand. And, it’s meant to be sat upon. The thumb is even notched so it will act as a drink holder. It’s comfortably weird and weirdly comfortable — at the same time! How does it do it?

The giant hand chair is suitable for outdoor or indoor use and is made from a UV resistant plastic that will not fade, nor peel, nor spontaneously turn into bananas. It cleans up easily using any non-abrasive spray, and is guaranteed to be 100% free from monkey parts of any sort. The giant hand chair is made of a two-piece design which allows for easy storage and transportation.

Get your giant hand-chair today and spice up your back-yard parties this season with your very own really weird thing to sit upon.

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HANDERPANTS – UNDERWEAR GLOVES

Underwear Gloves by HanderpantsThey’re gloves that look like underwear of the tighty-whitey variety of underwear! Made of ninety-five percent cotton and a full five percent non-cotton, in the form of spandex — most experts agree that these underwear pants are made with MORE cotton than any other brand that contains less than ninety-five percent cotton!

There’s no reason to go hand-commando anymore! Stop being naked under your gloves (how embarrassing!) a slip on some authentically men’s-briefs-looking Handerpants under your gloves today for extra warmth, protection and support. Or, shun your modest ways and just wear them by themselves!

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REAL VAMPIRE BAT ENCASED IN LUCITE

Vampire Bat in LuciteWhat could be cooler than a dead, winged animal encased in a solid block of Lucite for all eternity? This weird novelty item is perfect as a really weird paper weight, or simply a strange conversation starter. You can even lick it if you want! The solid Lucite acrylic resin block will ensure that when doing so, you will not taste bat.

That’s right, folks — it’s a real, actual, genuine, un-live vampire bat that has been firmly imprisoned inside a clear case of solid Lucite. And now it can be yours! Dead animals permenently encased in poly-methyl methacrylate can normally run you hundreds of dollars! But, this leathery winged wonder of the chiropteran variety can be yours for the low, low price of just $24.73 plus shipping!

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PRESERVED HUMAN FOOT

Preserved Human FootYes, a real (not really), preserved (sort of) human foot (not actually a real foot) is up for sale! And, it even comes in a pretty nifty box! If you’re a weirdo of some type, this would be an awesome display piece for your home or office — perfect for freaking out chicks! (Am I right, guys? You know how chicks are. Am I Right?)

How is it made? Hell, I don’t know. The seller says it’s “100% organic”… don’t ask me. It looks as though someone may have carved it out of a rump-roast or something, I dunno.

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TRADITIONAL JIVARO SHRUNKEN HEAD – TSANTSA

Shrunken HeadHere’s your opportunity to get a little head!

This is an extremely authentic looking shrunken head, hand made by an Ecuadorian artisan from goat-skin and hair, using  techniques similar to traditional Tsantsa human head shrinking!

Freak out your friends! They’ll never know it’s not real if you don’t tell them. Or, have a load of laughs offering people “a little head” — if they accept, produce this! (Trust us, “little head” jokes never get old. Science proves it!) Or, just place it on display somewhere in your house and spend your days praying that it doesn’t come to life at night.

Whatever you decide to do with it, it can’t be denied that an authentic looking severed human head is sure to bring laughs and good cheer to yourself, friends and family alike.

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